In The Beginning …

In The Beginning…

It seems a little odd to me, to be writing about “the beginning” and be referring to the 49th anniversary of my birth.  But that is indeed the place that I find myself today. I feel brand new!  And not in that “Whew, I just got back from a day at the spa!” way either.

No, I find myself reflecting on how much I still “feel” like an adolescent. With all that I have learned and the scope of my accomplishments before me, I somehow still feel all the crushing self judgements, the anticipation of rejection, the completely imagined impending reproach for my imperfections. All of which, leads me to ponder, where, oh where has my confidence gone? Did I ever really have any to begin with? And… Why is it that some people seem to fear nothing at all?

Wait a minute… I just might be onto something there.

So I start sifting around in my support systems, otherwise known as chatting up my chums. Where I discover the most amazing things about myself! It seems that through “other people’s eyes” I barely have any flaws at all. I am seen as being rather fearless and more resilient than most humans have a right to be! I am told that I am beautiful inside and out, and that I am valued far beyond the depth and measure that mere words can convey.

I sit back humbled, and try to absorb it all.
My body ages, my spirit remains fresh and new. I suppose that it would be wise then to view my years much like a garden, where I cultivate and keep the experiences that suit me and turn the weeds under to enrich the quality of my existence.

Did someone mention a Spa? After all… It is my birthday!
Thanks for listening dear readers.

Posted in Musings.